In all honesty, I can’t remember when I first read or heard this, but it was a very profound talk (as is most of his talks). I do remember however the impact it had on me in remembering that from then on I never had the right to be offended by anything or anyone anymore. Nevertheless, of course, I did choose to be offended every now and again, as we all are mortal and tend to do that.
All of us choose to take offense in many things, so I gained a very different concept and perspective of things when I heard that. I don’t remember having that kind of idea presented to me before. I think that is why I remembered it for so long after he had given that talk originally.
Having remembered that, I taught that every now and again to investigators, less actives, and recent converts on the mission who felt they had been offended not necessarily in the Church, but in any way that they felt that they didn’t have the strength to go on. I felt so much compassion for these people because I was always picked on when I was little for being that quiet distant kid that always did good in school, wore the same sweatshirt hoodie every day and was just there. I remember always feeling offended and the wave of all the other emotions that entailed it. Granted, I don’t remember ever crying about it, but I had friends that did -best friends.
I remember that after feeling so much compassion for these friends of mine as well as myself that I didn’t want anyone else to feel it. How often had I come home to have the loving comfort of my parents to welcome me, embrace me, build me up with love and support and encouragement telling me how great I was and the potential I had and that the opinion of jerks and bullies really doesn’t matter in the long run.
My father told me earlier in my life how he had and always has and still is very curious and likes to learn. So when my father was baptized in the Church, he had a lot of questions about Church doctrine and their explanations. Later on, he found out that the book Answers to Gospel Questions would help him a lot more than his elder’s quorum president. Nevertheless, he asked questions openly and freely in class and it happened to often that the men in class would scoff, sigh, and complain and his consistent curiosity to the extent that my father chose to not go to Church anymore.
Thankfully, a concerned and considerate home teacher of my father’s recognized my father’s absence at Church and came to his house on a certain day to see him and wonder why he had stopped. My father explained what was going on and how he felt in regards to the other brethren in the priesthood quorum that had been upsetting him. Understanding this, the home teacher considered this a minute and replied in the same extent of words that Elder Bednar had explained that just because of someone else he was losing blessings. He asked my dad why he chose to go to Church. My father replied to learn about Christ and return to Heavenly Father. He then asked my father if anyone had told him to stop going if he would stop. My father declared he certainly wouldn’t. The home teacher then point out to my father that was exactly happening right then at that moment. He was choosing to let someone else stop him from going to Church as his own choice and not because it was something literally stopping him from going. My father realized this and decided to come back to Church quickly and has been faithfully active since then.
Knowing these things that my parents had taught me and had made me feel (on top of growing up and getting bigger in size and height than the bullies) on top of hearing Elder Bednar’s talk when he first gave it, I kept these feelings in my mind when I was on the mission teaching these people. These precious children of great worth of our beloved Heavenly Father didn’t know their great potential and how they chose to let themselves fall into despair and discouragement because of the actions of someone else. They were literally being acted upon as an object. As I helped them try to understand this, they would make the change in their mindsets just as Elder Bednar had said and most of them decided to give things in Church and life another try.
I’m glad I know these things that I have learned, the same that I have taught and that I can still remember by the power of the Spirit, in the case that I should forget and choose to give in to the temptation of being offended. Surely, it seems just so much easier to let things be and be angry, bitter, sad, and overall offended from someone or something said or done. I believe this principle definitely should be taught and remembered more often. I believe much more can change in the behavioral patterns in social interaction and cultures to make things a lot more positive. I believe we’d be able to learn a lot this way and love one another a lot more than we really do right now. I feel that that is how the Savior and our Heavenly Father would really want things and how we can actually establish a true Zion here on the BYU-I campus and accomplish not only our goal, but that of our Heavenly Father of bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of men. How great would that day be when we all can recognize that and choose to not take offense and really love one another.
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