Buckets and Dippers

As I came to reflect on the analogy of the Buckets and Dippers, I thought considerably about the way I unfortunately so often feel many times throughout my days, weeks, and months. I regret to say not much of my behavior has improved during the course of my life unless I count perhaps the course of my mission when I had learned to be so much better and learn how to evaluate my performance and become a better person. Nevertheless, I have been less enthusiastic in my attempts to accomplish such goals since I have returned.
I mean to say that when I perceive others recently, I have resorted back to how I acted at a small degree to what I behaved like before the mission. I look on others with buckets of emotion – differing from more or less than what I have. On some occasions, I find that what I have is extremely little in my bucket and if anyone comes along seeming like they have intentions of taking from my own, I can have the habit of the natural man and retrieve my bucket from their thirsty grasp as they attempt to take some of my water out with their dipper.
How selfish! How sad! How often do I react to others in this selfish, cruel manner? Behavior like that leaves them without any more water and if at all, perhaps even less in their bucket for their receiving such harsh and inconsiderate treatment that will no doubt leave them feeling even worse.
When participating in this activity in class, I remember reflecting on the relationship I have with my roommate. When I came back from the mission, I started going to the singles ward in a ward where I met him and we got to talking and I found out that he was working on his application to BYU-I. I told him that I was already accepted and I was going up there and sure enough, he was accepted and started asking for help for housing. Naturally, I suggested he be my roommate and gave him all the information I could and now he’s here as my roommate.
I, however, have many values and pet peeves that he tends to touch upon very often and I go very quiet when things like that disturb me and I can’t bring myself to correct others all too often in fear of offending them. Nevertheless, when I do this, I give the silent treatment which is actually worse than telling them how I feel! Recognizing this destructive behavior only growing worse between us, I decided to call it to an end on one of my better days I had last night and we somewhat resolved the issue that I have a hard time correcting him.
He has expressed often that he feels very alone up here since he doesn’t know anyone or anything and I have a semester longer here than he does. I never knew his bucket was so empty! I didn’t know that he was trying to get some of my water out for himself!
My perception changed quite a bit after recognizing this and after reflecting on this on and on again, I realized it’s not that he’s a bad person and intends to actually take pleasure in making me feel uncomfortable and just enjoy my small suffering, no. He unintentionally had/has habits that are completely contrary to my own personal values that just make me tick and he couldn’t know any better unless I told him.
How different things have become to a small degree since that little conversation we two had last night. Not to make it sound like I demean his intelligence to the level of a child, but how different is the child that learns from his or her parents the right from wrong? How different would life be if our Heavenly Father didn’t bless us with the gift of the Holy Ghost to tell us right from wrong? I think back through my life and wonder if I have ever really felt offended from having a correcting experience that fills my bucket up a whole lot more when I felt guilt from sin, temptations, and other inappropriate thoughts, actions, or words. I realize its actually the love our Father has for us and a small portion of what we can do for others - fill their buckets.